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A 4am piss up with Rod Stewart
Jordan Henderson's steamy escapades
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đŹ Quote of the day
"Strange and inappropriate. Itâs a shame.â - Former teammate Nico Rosberg on Lewis Hamiltonâs clothes.
FOOTBALL
đ What a Mess

Liverpoolâs hard-partying staff were still up singing Auld Lang Syne when Real Madridâs insulting ÂŁ20m bid for Trent Alexander-Arnold landed in their inbox.
In fairness, he is out of contract in the summer, so itâs not as outrageous as the ÂŁ30 million bid Man City made for Lionel Messi back in 2008.
According to former CEO Garry Cook, Cityâs new owners were looking to make a statement signing, and instructed staff to send scattergun offers out for star players all across Europe.
Amid the chaos, an exec misheard the ownerâs assistant complaining âitâs getting messyâ, and fired out a ÂŁ30 million offer for Barcaâs talismanic number ten:
Pairoj was lying on a chaise lounge, getting a massage, and shouting: 'Yes, yes, yes! Very messy, messy, it's getting messy.â
Something got lost in translation and â on my daughter's eyesight, this is the truth â that was misheard as âwe've got to get Messiâ.
And back came the response from Barcelona president Joan Laporta: âWho the fuck do you think you are?"
FOOTBALL
đ§ A Mackem in Mokum

For a culture vulture like yourself, Amsterdam is the city of Rembrandt, Jan Pieterszoon Sweelinck and Quincy Promes Rachel Ruysch.
But for thousands of âorrible Brits, the Dutch capital is a liberal haven where they can indulge in despicable deeds they wouldnât dream of perpetrating at home.
And judging by this new Athletic article on his first year at Ajax, Jordan Henderson belongs to the latter campâŚ

FOOTBALL
đ This is Avanti West Coast weâre talking about

âGreat to see Jamie Carragher on the picket line at Euston,â chirped the RMT union on New Yearâs Eve, as the Sky pundit posed with striking railway workers.
It was a minor publicity coup, although judging by Carraâs luggage and Louis Vuitton suit carrier, he was about to cross the picket line and board the 13.18 to Blundellsands & Crosby.
FOOTBALL
𤢠Wake up Carlton, I think weâve got QPR to play at 2

Wayne Rooney might have spent New Yearâs Day sobbing into his Argyle mousepad and firing out CVs to Ebbsfleet United and ArnavutkĂśy Belediyespor, but at least he wasnât coughing up his stomach lining in front of 34,000 people.
Thatâs what happened to Sheffield Wednesdayâs Carlton Palmer back in 1994, after teammates Chris Waddle and Chris Woods convinced him to come out on the piss the night before an early NYD kick off.
At 4am, he was papped at Tramp nightclub with Rod Stewart, still in his club tracksuit.
At 10.30am, he staggered into the pre-match meeting and found out Waddle and Woods had failed fitness tests earlier in the week and werenât in the squad. Unfortunately for Carlton, he was starting.
After puking on the pitch during the warm up, he was tasked with marking Les Ferdinand:
The worst moment came in the second half. They turned on the floodlights and the sudden brightness dazzled me. I didn't know where I was. I was facing the wrong way until Les said: âLet me give you a handâ and gently turned me through 180 degrees.
Somehow, the Owls won 2-1.
đ Quick hits
đŻ Despite earning millions in prize money, darts star Peter Wright isnât allowed to access his bank account. Instead, his wife gives him a weekly allowance of ÂŁ212.
đ° Barcelona could lose $273m on Dani Olmo because they are unable to register him for the remainder of the season due to financial fair play rules.
đ 33 percent of players on the Florida Gatorsâ 2008 National Championship roster have since been arrested.
AND FINALLYâŚ
đ¨â𦲠Fortune favours the bald

Thatâs it for today. Thanks to Steve.
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