FOOTBALL

️‍❄️ Get the Radj in, get the bags in

Step aside Quincy Promes and Ronnie Stam, the Low Countries’ bustling coke trade has a new poster boy: former Roma midfielder Radja Nainggolan.

The ex-Belgium international was hauled in by cops this week as they busted a cocaine trafficking ring operating out of the notorious smuggling port of Antwerp.

It capped off a wild seven days for Radja, who came out of retirement last week to join Belgian second tier side Lokeren. He scored directly from a corner on his debut three days before his arrest.

To be fair, you can’t blame the cops for being sliiightly suspicious of Radja.

Back in 2022, he founded a private jet company business partner Ibrahim Ahamdoun, who previously did a 6-stretch for helping Hezbollah smuggle 1,100kg of coke through… Antwerp airport.

FOOTBALL

🏺 Tokyo grift

While the faded stars of the Benelux are flooding Europe’s soulless business districts with horrible pub grub coke, we’re proud to report the crimes committed by British footballers are far more exotic.

A year ago, we told you about former West Ham academy player Kaine Wright, who pinched a priceless Ming vase from a Swiss museum, like Feathers McGraw or a villain from Tintin.

Now the antiquity-crazed star is fighting another colourful charge: a £680K Tokyo heist.

Kaine is facing extradition to Japan, where he’s accused of smashing glass showcases in a high end jewellery store and nabbing 46 items, before assaulting a security guard on his way out.

If he is handed over to the Japanese authorities, it’ll seriously hamper his plans to steal the Elgin Marbles and raid the Temple of Dendur.

Earn Extra Cash with Lysted

Want to make extra money? Resell your tickets on Lysted! List them once and they’ll appear on major sites like StubHub and Ticketmaster. With fast payouts and easy listing management, Lysted is the perfect side hustle. Don’t let spare tickets go to waste—turn them into cash!

Sign up for free now.

FOOTBALL

🎂 Head-Butt

Nicky Butt is used to playing sixth fiddle to Beckham, Scholes, Giggs and the Neville brothers. But at his special 50th Birthday bash at vapid celeb hellscape Soho Farmhouse, no one was going to steal his limelight.

Dion Dublin left his Dube at reception and Mark Bosnich promised not to visit the cubicles until after the Eton Mess was served. But before Posh Spice could glower disapprovingly at Dwight Yorke’s date, disaster struck.

Nicky’s special day was spoiled when a guest - drunk on £15 picantes and self-importance - staggered outside, pissed on a courtyard wall and head-butted the security guard that accosted him.

A source told the tabloids:

We know what you’re thinking, but Eric Cantona wasn’t invited.

FOOTBALL

⚔️ Blade runner

Manchester City’s James McAtee - who spent the last two seasons on loan at Sheffield United - was about to hand a young fan his shirt on Wednesday night.

Then he spotted the kid’s Sheffield Wednesday coat and drove off instead.

Looking for unbiased, fact-based news? Join 1440 today.

Upgrade your news intake with 1440! Dive into a daily newsletter trusted by millions for its comprehensive, 5-minute snapshot of the world's happenings. We navigate through over 100 sources to bring you fact-based news on politics, business, and culture—minus the bias and absolutely free.

Subscribe to 1440 today.

FOOTBALL

🏠 A poor little baby child is born, in the Gakpoooo

It’s taken a few years, but the good people of Eindhoven finally got their revenge on Cody Gakpo this week, as PSV beat Liverpool 3-2 in the Champions League.

Last year, it was reported that Gakpo was something of a slum landlord in his native Holland, presiding over a dilapidated real estate portfolio including several properties in the Eindhoven area.

Angry occupants complained that some of their homes were “not fit for human habitation”, with structural problems, vermin infestations and poor repairs.

One tenant told press: “A rat fell down into my living room. It scared me to death.”

Hopefully Cody had time to paint over some black mould whilst he was in the city.

Where to Find the Best Deals on Hoka Shoes

Meaning “to fly” in Maori, Hoka was founded in 2009 so that anyone spending long hours on their feet could get the ultimate experience with optimum cushioning and stability. Less than 15 years after its founding, Hoka is bringing in revenues topping a billion dollars a year, so it’s clear that people are loving this brand. But with quality comes high prices, and Hoka is no doubt in the high end price-wise. Thanks to Brad's Deals, we found the best prices on Hoka.

Here are the top 8 stores where you can find great deals on Hoka.

AND FINALLY…

 💇 The Yorkshire clipper

This United fan has decided to abstain from getting a hair cut until the Red Devils win five games in a row. And he’s starting to look increasingly like Peter Sutcliffe…