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FOOTBALL

🔫 Starting gun

So the World Cup is finally underway in Mexico, where supporters from around the world have been quick to embrace the culture.

Like this South Korean fan, who proved very popular with the locals.

And this Brazilian reporter, who didn’t even bat an eyelid when the elderly mariachi she was interviewing suddenly decided to brandish a Colt .45.

FOOTBALL

🚗 That’s the thing about the gaffer, he always stays late after training

Less vibrant scenes north of the border, where Thomas Tuchel has chosen to set up England’s training base in a drab suburb on the outskirts of Kansas City.

It seems a strange choice, given their group games are taking place hundreds of miles away in Texas, New Jersey and Massachusetts.

Until you realise Tommy’s camp is right next to notorious dogging site Swope Park, where - says one adult site - the “restroom is hot, and so is the area by the pool when it’s not open.”

According to reports, the knobbing spot is “just a Jordan Pickford goal-kick” from England’s training pitch.

It’s a far cry from the prudish Southgate regime. At the last Euros, England politely asked their German hotel to suspend its “compulsory nudity in the sauna” rule.

CRICKET

👊 Maimed in Chelsea

You are looking at an exclusive - and admittedly very grainy - clip of Ben Stokes absolutely havin’ it last Sunday, just a few hours before his nightclub scrap.

In case you missed it, the England captain was dropped after breaking a self-imposed curfew this week, then getting in a fight with 21-year-old Saracens rugby star Totoa Auvaa.

Totoa took a swing at Stokes’ teammate, Gus Atkinson, but missed and accidentally hit their security guard instead, who wound up needing stitches.

It all went down at a “polo after-party” at godawful Chelsea nightclub, Rex Rooms (formerly known as 151).

And while we’re talking exclusive gossip, England cricketers and Saracens rugby players have a bit of history when it comes to feuding.

According to one longstanding rumour, when an England batsman was scoring a hundred a few years back, a Saracens star was at the Ship Inn in Wandsworth, shagging the centurion’s wife.

BOXING

🧬 Conspiracy factualist

Open your eyes sheeple. Like Paul McCartney and Avril Lavigne before him, Anthony Joshua has been disappeared and replaced by a clone.

That’s according to a self-described “conspiracy factualist” named 11Millz, who just appeared on a podcast claiming to be AJ’s childhood friend:

That’s all the evidence we need…

TENNIS

 🤠 I know what you’re thinking. Did West Ham sack me after five games, or six?

After his disastrous stints at Chelsea and West Ham, Graham Potter has spent the last six months in Sweden, carefully building back his reputation as a cultured, competent manager.

Then, on Tuesday, he undid all of that hard work in a single afternoon, by choosing to wear a ten-gallon cowboy hat during an open training session.

💉 Quick hits

😬 Mikel Arteta was due to give a keynote speech at a Deutsche Bank conference this week, but his talk was disrupted when the venue’s ceiling collapsed. And no, it wasn’t a stunt to teach the “importance of strong foundations”.

🎸 FIFA has finally released its official World Cup album, featuring tracks from Shakira, Stormzy, The Rolling Stones, and, errr, IShowSpeed. Spoiler alert: it’s dreadful.

🚽 In order to “keep the romance alive,” Rio Ferdinand avoids using the same toilet as his wife. Even if they’re in a hotel and it’s the middle of the night, he’ll go down the corridor to search for another one.

🌿 Another one for the Supreme CBD list: Emile Heskey.

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AND FINALLY…

🏛️ The Great Sphinx of Geezer

Last we heard, former Hearts owner Vladimir Romanov was penniless and living in a disused nuclear submarine on the Siberian tundra.

But things are clearly on the up, because he’s now posted up in a mansion in an affluent Moscow suburb, where he’s just erected a giant “busty Sphinx” statue.