Good morning. Have you ever wanted to own a piece of sporting history?

From George’s Best’s trophy to an original bench from Old Trafford, Graham Budd Auctions are offering an incredible selection of Man United and Man City memorabilia at surprisingly affordable prices.

Check out the fascinating collection here.

FOOTBALL

🌞 Laa-Laa land

Since starring in Adolescence and shining a torch on toxic masculinity, Stephen Graham has been tip toeing towards national treasure status.

On screen, he’s magnetic, and off it, he’s affable, amusing and articulate.

Unless you catch him on the muddy touchline of a non-league ground on match day.

Stephen was recently the subject of an FA investigation, after he hurled abuse at a referee while cheering on his nephew’s side Barrow Town.

His chosen insults?

“Fat twat” and “fucking Teletubby”.

Stephen apologised and the club was handed a £190 fine…

FOOTBALL

💃 All twerk and no play makes Jak a dull boy

It’s been a tough week for Jakub Kiwior, whose Arsenal side lost at home to PSG in front of a tifo that looked like a beach towel.

If the Polish defender wants to turn things around in the second leg, he should speak to his girlfriend, Claudia Kowalczyk, who knows a thing or two about performing on the biggest stages.

You’ll no doubt recall that Claudia was crowned Germany's Queen of Twerking in 2017, and reached the semi-finals of the European Twerk Championships the following year.

Well, after “a long break from competing”, she’s made a triumphant return, and was recently awarded the prestigious title of UK Twerk Champion 2025.

You’ll never sing that…

👕 A rare chance to own a piece of history from a footballing powerhouse

From Aguero’s shirt to George’s Best’s 1968 Footballer of the Year Trophy, Graham Budd Auctions are offering you some iconic items from Manchester football’s biggest names.

Their Auction of Two Halves includes fascinating United and City memorabilia, including:

• 250 football shirts, including match-worn shirts from famous games.

• Items from legends like Paul Scholes, Dennis Law and Yaya Toure.

• Rare gems like Beckham’s boots and an original bench from Old Trafford’s Stretford End, removed in 1992.

There are 372 items in the catalogue, and there’s something for every budget size.

The auction takes place on 6th and 7th May.

DARTS

🎮 Luke belittler

When you’ve spent most of your teenage years hustling nicotine-stained old men in dusty social clubs, you don’t get many opportunities to interact with the opposite sex.

So when Luke Littler was confronted by a woman that wasn’t a 68-year-old landlady called Doris, you can hardly blame him for losing his cool.

Whilst taking part in a gaming live stream, Luke was approached by presenter Jolie Sharpe, who very kindly complemented him on his darts playing.

To which Luke replied:

According to The Upshot’s sources in Year 11, this roughly translates as “calm down and stop being so desperate”.

To be fair, she should have known better than to interrupt an 18-year-old whilst he’s locking horns with Prime-addled pre-teens on Fortnite.

AMERICAN FOOTBALL

🌿 The bong-est yard

Getting drafted for the NFL is the life-changing moment every college footballer dreams of.

So you can imagine Shedeur Sanders’ joy when he received a phone call from Mickey Loomis, general manager of the New Orleans Saints, confirming he was their next pick.

But just as Shedeur began to fantasise about donning a garish Super Bowl ring, he heard giggling in the background of the call and the line went dead.

It turned out to be a cruel prank call from the son the Atlanta Falcons’ defensive coach, who’d found Shedeur’s number on his dad’s iPad.

Very distasteful, but not the worst prank pulled on an NFL hopeful.

Back in 2016, Laremy Tunsil was slated to be a top-five pick.

But just as the draft kicked off, someone hacked his phone and posted an old video of him smoking a gas mask bong…

FOOTBALL

🚨 Grand Theft Antwerp

The frazzled leaders of Europe’s low countries have a lot on their hands: rising sea levels. Trump’s tariffs on chocolate and stroopwafels. The declining popularity of Hergé’s Tintin in the wake of post-colonial theory.

But nothing keeps them up at night like the crime wave sweeping over Benelux football.

First there was Quincy Promes, then FA Cup winner Ronnie Stam, then Radja Nainggolan.

Now, it’s the turn of former Napoli starlet Nathaniel Amoah.

The 23-year-old Dutch defender was handed a two-year prison sentence this week, for his part in an armed carjacking in Belgium.

He donned a balaclava and forced a driver to hand over the keys to his rented Mercedes on the forecourt of an Esso garage.

We’re one criminal footballer away from a very handy 5-aside team…

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AND FINALLY…

☎️ I’m looking for a Hugh Jass

The Mets pay tribute to super fan Seymour Weiner, who passed away this week.