FOOTBALL

🥔 When the chips are down

When the Financial Times sat down for lunch with Gary Neville at his Manchester Stock Exchange restaurant, they were hoping to pick the brains of one of Britain’s finest business minds. And it was all going well.

Over a starter of steak tartare, Gary regaled his interviewer with wisdom on micromanagement, dealing with failure, and his revolutionary concept of mini retirements.

But when the reporter’s mushroom tart arrived with a side of mash, Neville couldn’t help reprising his old vendetta against new fangled potato dishes:

We’re sorry to report Gary’s restaurant closed shortly after the interview.

GOLF

😈 Bunking up

As Saudi money pours into the game, golf’s most hallowed institutions are relaxing their usual stuffy standards to attract a new breed of young fan.

And the great Old Course at St Andrew’s is no exception.

Visit the course’s famous Road Hole bunker these days and you’re more likely to stumble upon a couple rutting like wild beasts than an ageing member swinging his sand wedge.

Hope they raked it afterwards…

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FOOTBALL

🧪 A little piece of Chernobyl

Andriy Shevchenko was always freakishly good.

With his uncanny ability to find space in the six yard box, it was like he had eyes in the back of his head.

And it turns out there might have been more to the Ukrainian striker’s superhuman skills than 5am shuttle runs and grandma’s Chicken Kyivs.

This week Shevchenko, who grew up in the shadow of Chernobyl, recalled finding a radioactive football and bringing it home.

"When I walked through the front door, it had been tucked under my arm like a treasured trophy,” he explained.

But when his dad’s trusty Geiger counter “went mad”, Andriy discovered he had “brought a little piece of Chernobyl into the family home, a small atomic bomb”.

The ball was quickly incinerated, which sounds a little risky for nuclear waste…

FOOTBALL

🤝 Fowl play

Four months into his reign as manager of Saudi side Al-Qadsiah, Robbie Fowler was feeling smug.

The Qads were unbeaten, top of the second tier, and Robbie had just been named manager of the month.

So when his paymasters called him in for a mint tea and a natter, Robbie was looking forward to a few “peace be upon yous”, maybe even a congratulatory voucher to try out Salt Bae’s new restaurant.

Instead, they sacked him, and replaced him with the great Spanish striker Michel.

According to The Upshot’s Khobar bureau, the club wanted a “proven winner”, but perhaps they finally did their due diligence on Robbie…

TENNIS

🖕 Lost Me ‘ed

Another delicious outburst from the tour’s premier headcase, Daniil Medvedev.

As he was booed off court at the Paris Masters, the Russian supervillain flicked his middle finger at the jeering fans.

He later insisted: “I just checked my nails, like this. It’s nothing more than that. Why would I do that to this beautiful crowd in Paris-Bercy?”

UPSHOT PODCAST

🎙️ Adrian Mutu: all the gear but no idea

He was the promising Chelsea striker with the world at his feet. But Adrian Mutu's taste for top shelf cocaine cost him everything.

And that was just the start.

From high speed chases to drinking pornstars' blood, meet the bad boy from Bucharest on the latest episode of The Upshot podcast…

AND FINALLY

🚗 The handbrake is a little stiff because it was evil in a past life

That's it for today. Thanks to Marshy.

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🎙️ You might remember Adrian Mutu as a promising Chelsea striker with a taste for cocaine. But Class As weren’t his only vice. From high speed car chases to drinking a porn star's blood, meet the Bad Boy of Bucharest on The Upshot podcast.