FOOTBALL

🤝 I’m best mates with Mbappé and he said he’ll join us on a free

“BlueCo out” has become the Stamford Bridge theme tune in recent weeks, as Chelsea fans plead for a new owner. But they should be careful what they wish for.

The latest suitor to throw his name into the hat is Katie Price’s new husband Lee Andrews, who recently told reporters:

If that last line rings a few alarm bells for you, nice intuition. Lee’s been known to make the odd dubious claim in the past.

The self-described multimillionaire has previously lied about having a PhD from Cambridge University, being an advisor to the Labour Party, and working as the Director of Philanthropy for The Prince’s Trust.

He also claims to be the CEO of a company called Aura Sustainable Vehicles, despite a business registry showing the firm was dissolved in 2024.

That hasn’t stopped Lee using AI to knock up pictures of a fake launch event for a flying car, attended by Elon Musk and Kim Kardashian…

FOOTBALL

💘 Drama ‘quin

Joaquin is a solid gold Real Betis legend. He played 528 games for the Spanish side, won two Copa Del Rey trophies, and now he’s a director on the board.

So when midfielder Nelson Deossa was looking for ways to curry favour at his new club, he saw the perfect opportunity: dating Joaquin’s daughter, Daniela Sanchez.

Unfortunately, Nelson failed to impress Joaquin with his pescaíto frito, and according to local tabloids, Betis have now suspended him on the club legend’s orders.

BOXING

👶 Wild child

Deontay Wilder delivered a box office moment on Saturday night, telling Derek Chisora, “I love you”, before knocking him down to the canvas with a mighty right hook.

If only he reserved such charming sentiments for his actual family.

Before the fight, Wilder appeared on Piers Moron Uncensored, where he was asked about raising a daughter with a rare spinal condition.

It was a nice opportunity for Deontay to wax lyrical about his child, but instead he chose to tell a weird, graphic and completely unprompted story about her conception:

His daughter turned 21 last week, so at least she was able to have a nice strong drink after hearing the story.

CHESS

📸 Grandmaster flash

It was the day 18-year-old chess prodigy Alua Nurman had dreamed of since she was a little girl: she was coming up against the great Norwegian Magnus Carlsen.

Before they locked horns, the Kazakh star couldn’t resist asking her hero for a selfie. And to her delight, Magnus was the perfect gentleman, grinning broadly for the snap.

But when their match began, the mood turned.

Magnus marched over to the judges and reported his young opponent for bringing a phone to the table, and they promptly confiscated it and gave her a severe dressing down.

In other chess news, Grandmaster Hikaru Nakamura spent 67 minutes deliberating over a single move during a match at a tournament this week.

It turned out to be the wrong move, and he lost the game…

FOOTBALL

🎶 Dyer straits

Danny Dyer was spotted at the London Stadium on Sunday, singing a charming song about his daughter and her husband, West Ham captain Jarrod Bowen.

We’re pretty sure that’s his grandson he’s holding.

💉 Quick hits

🇨🇵 Since 1st January 2025, PSG have beaten more Premier League teams at home than Spurs have.

👴 Former Chelsea and Brazil midfielder Oscar has rescinded his contract with São Paulo and officially retired from football.

🇮🇹 Since 2006, Italy’s cricket team has won as many World Cup games as their football team.

🍹 There’s still time to enter our competition with Solar Rum! They’re giving away a free case to one lucky Upshot reader, and you can enter here. Entries close on Sunday.

🎟️ According to a BBC report, these are the cheapest England tickets currently available on FIFA’s official World Cup resale platform. FIFA take a 30% cut of each sale:

🔑 Get The Upshot ad-free twice a week when you upgrade to Upshot Gold.

AND FINALLY…

🗞️ At least they didn’t mention me scratching my balls…

You win a World Cup and take your team to three finals in 15 years, and all anyone remembers is the time you picked your nose and licked it. And that’s the game.