Plus: Daniel Sturridge on the run and the West Ham prodigy turned criminal mastermind
Bernie Ecclestone's naughty treat
Joey Barton's anger management class
Jens Lehmann sits the psychopath test
The wily Swede strikes again and Neil Warnock's fitting farewell
John Terry's guide to a quick £5,000, godawful fashion tips from Michael Owen and a pornstar footballer lets her dog drive a Range Rover
Plus: a GB Swimming love triangle turns nasty and Danny Cipriani's bad trip
Plus: an England physio's erotic fiction and Elton Jantjies is up to no good again
Plus: Max Verstappen's 'orrible dad, snooker stars scrap with police and Pep's brush with the law
Plus: Kim Jong Un's hole in one, and Ronaldo throws a tantrum
Plus: Kylian Mbappe banished to the leper colony, the vultures circle Leicester, and more
Plus: Ian Holloway's haunted house and Ray Parlour's massive schlong
