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A seedy Paris park
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A seedy Paris park

Kylian Mbappe's crippling addiction

Assaulted the town mayor
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Assaulted the town mayor

Pep's car park bollocking

A dressing room syphilis outbreak

A dressing room syphilis outbreak

Wayne Rooney's bedroom burn

A coke-fuelled Twitter meltdown
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A coke-fuelled Twitter meltdown

John Terry chats up a Love Island star

Bathtubs of wine
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Bathtubs of wine

Luke Littler's 4am celebration

A 4am piss up with Rod Stewart

A 4am piss up with Rod Stewart

Jordan Henderson's steamy escapades

A venomous stocking filler
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A venomous stocking filler

A 20-man melee in the tunnel

Tasered on the dancefloor

Tasered on the dancefloor

Force down our congealed leftovers

Pyrotechnic warfare
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Pyrotechnic warfare

David Coote's £10k-an-hour gig

Festive turkey in the hand luggage

Festive turkey in the hand luggage

Wayne Rooney steals Christmas

Kings Road cocaine
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Kings Road cocaine

Yet another Stamford Bridge drugs scandal

Snorting lines off the altar
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Snorting lines off the altar

Liverpool's sacrilegious Xmas party

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