Jimmy Bullard barred from the clubhouse
Jermaine Defoe's throuple
Danny Cipriani back to his bad old ways
Ainsley Harriott's football riot
Andros Townsend's horrible dinner
Roman Abramovich's sinister text message and more...
Gareth Bale's godawful music taste
Plus: Erik Ten Hag's borrowed suit
Plus: Gary Neville's war on mashed potato
Plus: Gordon Ramsay's fake football career and Gazza wades into the Middle East peace process
Plus: Daniel Sturridge on the run and the West Ham prodigy turned criminal mastermind
Bernie Ecclestone's naughty treat
