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Raised on scampi fries
LockSimple

Nov 29, 2023

•

7 min read

Raised on scampi fries

Messi's tabloid stitch-up

Boy of a pimp sister
LockSimple

Nov 27, 2023

•

7 min read

Boy of a pimp sister

Kevin De Bruyne's dancefloor hell

Boobsmacked

Nov 24, 2023

•

8 min read

Boobsmacked

Jimmy Bullard barred from the clubhouse

Piggy in the middle

Nov 22, 2023

•

7 min read

Piggy in the middle

Jermaine Defoe's throuple

Horrible local hooch
LockSimple

Nov 20, 2023

•

8 min read

Horrible local hooch

Danny Cipriani back to his bad old ways

It’s a madhouse

Nov 17, 2023

•

10 min read

It’s a madhouse

Ainsley Harriott's football riot

Elf and safety
LockSimple

Nov 15, 2023

•

7 min read

Elf and safety

Andros Townsend's horrible dinner

Unethical hair

Nov 10, 2023

•

9 min read

Unethical hair

Roman Abramovich's sinister text message and more...

Serious felonies

Nov 8, 2023

•

8 min read

Serious felonies

Gareth Bale's godawful music taste

Scurvy-riddled sailor

Nov 6, 2023

•

7 min read

Scurvy-riddled sailor

Plus: Erik Ten Hag's borrowed suit

A little piece of Chernobyl

Nov 3, 2023

•

8 min read

A little piece of Chernobyl

Plus: Gary Neville's war on mashed potato

Couldn’t kick his own arse: Gary's Lineker plants the parsnip

Oct 27, 2023

•

9 min read

Couldn’t kick his own arse: Gary's Lineker plants the parsnip

Plus: Gordon Ramsay's fake football career and Gazza wades into the Middle East peace process

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