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Sticky-faced urchins: Wayne Rooney back in court

Oct 20, 2023

•

8 min read

Sticky-faced urchins: Wayne Rooney back in court

Plus: Daniel Sturridge on the run and the West Ham prodigy turned criminal mastermind

Diamond encrusted G-Wagons

Oct 13, 2023

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8 min read

Diamond encrusted G-Wagons

Bernie Ecclestone's naughty treat

Completely splash proof: Joey Barton's anger management classes

Oct 6, 2023

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9 min read

Completely splash proof: Joey Barton's anger management classes

Joey Barton's anger management class

Dorito-encrusted teenagers

Sep 29, 2023

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9 min read

Dorito-encrusted teenagers

Jens Lehmann sits the psychopath test

Sven deadly sins
LockSimple

Sep 22, 2023

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8 min read

Sven deadly sins

The wily Swede strikes again and Neil Warnock's fitting farewell

A cream cheese massage

Sep 15, 2023

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8 min read

A cream cheese massage

John Terry's guide to a quick £5,000, godawful fashion tips from Michael Owen and a pornstar footballer lets her dog drive a Range Rover

Eating handfuls of clay

Sep 8, 2023

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8 min read

Eating handfuls of clay

Plus: a GB Swimming love triangle turns nasty and Danny Cipriani's bad trip

A wee bit of charlie

Sep 1, 2023

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8 min read

A wee bit of charlie

Plus: an England physio's erotic fiction and Elton Jantjies is up to no good again

Throwing cheesy chips

Aug 25, 2023

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9 min read

Throwing cheesy chips

Plus: Max Verstappen's 'orrible dad, snooker stars scrap with police and Pep's brush with the law

Mama's carbonara: Sandro Tonali goes native

Aug 18, 2023

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8 min read

Mama's carbonara: Sandro Tonali goes native

Plus: Kim Jong Un's hole in one, and Ronaldo throws a tantrum

Khan't buy me love: Amir Khan's guide to being a dirty dog

Aug 11, 2023

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9 min read

Khan't buy me love: Amir Khan's guide to being a dirty dog

Plus: Kylian Mbappe banished to the leper colony, the vultures circle Leicester, and more

Everyone kissed: inside Neymar's latest orgy

Aug 4, 2023

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10 min read

Everyone kissed: inside Neymar's latest orgy

Plus: Ian Holloway's haunted house and Ray Parlour's massive schlong

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The Upshot

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